"Bring Back TVR," or, "Keeping the Russians Happy"

In the months since I first started this blog, I have picked up a substantial Russian following. Despite this, I have really done nothing involving any sort of Russian car. Lately, this has been weighing heavily on my mind. I watched 27 minutes of the film Eastern Promises and I have realized that I simply must do something to appease the Russians. If I don't write something about a Russian car, I fear that this may happen to me:

Aragorn stabs an unsuspecting blog writer in the face...or something

From a cursory examination of the headlines, I have deduced that if you are in Russia these days, you are either a natural gas oligarch or you are Pussy Riot. If you are the former, you may be in the market for a high priced performance car. If you are the latter, you are currently in jail and unfortunately will not be driving any time soon.

Not the intended audience.

This brings me neatly to the case of TVR. Although TVR will forever be considered a British car (much like Jaguar is considered British despite the fact that the man in charge is named Ratan Tata and he has chosen to headquarter the company in Mumbai) the 21st Century saw it as the plaything of a young Russian businessman named Nikolay Smolensky.

Unfortunately, Mr. Smolensky's management of the company was less than satisfactory, and in July, TVR was officially shut down for good. At this point, 96% of the world's population breathed a sigh of relief, because it meant that the company would stop churning out poorly made death machines. You honestly had a better chance of surviving a game of russian roulette (see what I did there?!?!?) than you did of surviving a Sunday drive in your TVR.

And that's a shame. They weren't bad looking cars and they had a rich racing history.

Sort of like a Lotus Evora but much more...violent

There's something incredibly sad seeing such a storied company fade into the annals of history. Well actually, TVR still exists, they just make wind turbines. Either way though, that's an extremely ignoble end to an automotive icon.

I will end this with an appeal. Mr. Smolensky, please bring back TVR. Proper TVR. Not wind turbine TVR. The Dutch have wind turbines covered. The Russians need this. And so do we.

"Don't Tase Me Bro," or, "An Exploration of Electric Cars"

Earlier this week, Nissan was hit with a major class-action lawsuit. The focus of the litigation? The range of Nissan's electric Leaf. After paying almost $37,000 for a plastic box that can travel a smaller distance that a paralyzed cocker-spaniel, it seems as though several drivers felt as though they were duped.

At least it looks goo-.....wait...no. That's a lie.

Let me preface the following post by stating that I really feel no sense of pity for these people. Fully electric cars such as the leaf are useless vanity pieces for people who now believe that the Toyota Prius is "too mainstream." These people generally have beards and listen to bands like Grizzly Bear while snacking on overpriced granola. I have no patience for these people and I have no patience for the Nissan Leaf.

But it's like, totally sustainable!

For starters, let's be honest. Electric cars do not work. Let me repeat that. They. Do. Not. Work. They take half a day to charge and then run out of juice after you make it thirty miles down the road. Once the car dies, you will have no means of charging it up, as electric car charging ports are not what one might call "plentiful."

"Ah," you might say, "but the you love the Chevy Volt, and its an electric car!"

Not so. The Chevy volt is, for all intensive purposes, a hybrid. It happens to be the best designed and least offensive hybrid on the market, and it's magnificent. It is not an electric car.

Saving the earth, Michael Bay style

Please don't misunderstand the purpose of this post. I truly believe that we need to reduce our dependence on oil and that the automotive industry will have to switch to a more sustainable fuel source very soon.

With that said, electric cars are a pipe dream. Hydrogen is, for the time being, the only reasonable alternative to gasoline and diesel.