"Let's All Connect to Facetube," or, "The Rise of the Infotainment System."

Today, Ford announced that it will fix its infotainment system, "MyFord Touch." This pronouncement was initiated following recent Consumer Reports surveys that (I'm paraphrasing here) declared that Ford's infotainment system was less intuitive than complex integration calculus and less attractive than a decomposing corpse. Plainly, this was not good news.

Oh...This looks.....fun?

But here's a crucial fact. All infotainment systems are awful. Trying to use satnav in a Honda is comparable to playing the first edition of Zelda on a Super Nintendo. It was revolutionary when Clinton was in office, but now it's a bit sad to be honest.

He knows what's up.

And unfortunately, it's only going to get worse. Recently, Autoblog broke the news that Apple would be adding a Siri button to the upcoming vehicles of several major manufacturers. For those of you that live under a rock or are above the age of 76, Siri is the all-knowing robotic assistant that comes with all new iPhones. Sort of like Stanley Kubrick's Hal, but female.

Humanity is obsolete. Thanks for that one Steve Jobs.

Everyone seems to think that this is an amazing development. Everyone except me. I personally believe that these developments are roughly equivalent to the arrival of the antichrist.

Hello, my name is Damien, and I drive a Honda Civic.

More technology means more distracted driving. More distracted driving means that more people will be killed on the roads. This means that we will need more safety technology. This means that cars will get heavier and more unwieldy. This means that driving will lose much of its appeal. This is bad.

As I've said before, I'm a huge fan of a stripped down, no-frills driving experience. And I'm terrified that this is dying out.